Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
