did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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