They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.