Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
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we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.