My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
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She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
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My day in three words: secret purse cake
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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