That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
