It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
