My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
