Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
