Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
