My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have poison ivy on my dick
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2