so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.