marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?