went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video