Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
so let's talk penis.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.