i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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