There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
