I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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