I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
