Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
