ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
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Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
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I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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