I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
