Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
is that a dick in a sweater?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize