You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
