God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
