I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
