I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
