I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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