you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Randomize
