Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
