Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
BRING THE BAGELS
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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