Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize