well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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