therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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