I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize