remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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