I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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