No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
