RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
