I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
