whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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