can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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