Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
