I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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