yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
