That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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