If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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