you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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