I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
