we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I wish there were birth control emojis
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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