Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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