my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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