Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Non-Jews are for practice
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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