we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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