Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize