That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
