My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
