Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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