I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
