So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
