I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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