I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
