I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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