Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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