hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
